It feels like playing dice.
The alternating in the character's turn of story telling Haruki Murakami used in 1Q48 set you in the mood of game playing. You wanted to skip a chapter to continue the story that you were following. When Ushikawa's narrative was added as the third story line in book 3, you became even more unsettled in waiting for your turn to roll the dice, i.e. for the story line that you were interested in.
As the story unfold, however, I found that the main characters lead a life that is very similar to mine, in principle. First of all, they all live alone. Second, they have very few tie with the world, and they always remain a strict, repetitive and balance life style. Third, they always make sure their mind is clear and sane.
Of course, I don't literally live alone. I have a roommate during school year; I have a family if I come back home; but right now, this summer of 2012, I am living in a single room. My friend is three door down in the hall way, and the dorm is packed with people I know. But, in my room, there is only me. There are two sets of furniture since this is supposedly a double room: two beds, two desks, two chairs, one big bookshelf, and two drawers. The room was tiny though, so living in a double-single isn't all that luxurious. I used the lower bed as my sleeping space, the desk next to it my recreational corner. The bed that was lofted became a storage space with stuffs that people left under my care during the summer. The table under it is my productive area where I draw and study PCAT.
Today is Sunday, my first completely day-off from work. Saturday I always had a skype session with my parents and went grocery shopping in the afternoon. Today, however, I let myself do what I want. I slept until 9 AM and then rolled around in bed for 17 minutes before getting off the bed. The sun was obnoxiously dashing through the window and illuminating a piece of carpet. The air was mildly hot and stuffy. The white build-it-yourself fan was effortlessly pushing air forward. The atmosphere felt like home, except I was not.
This is the reason why I said my life resembles Aomame's and Tengo's. Waking up at 9 AM is considered a treat for myself. I would never let myself indulge in sleeping away the morning. I am not fond of that. Then, I had breakfast, and started my day checking facebook, Y!mail, tumblr and any websites that I could check on updates. After breakfast, which was yummy and unhealthy instant noodle, I browse through items on Urban-outfitters and Lulus for online shopping. That was not my habit. It just happened that this weekend was memorial weekend and I could get some pretty deal. I did not check out any items so far.
I started reading 1Q84 from where I left off at around 10:30 AM. I made a rule to myself that I would not read 1Q84 in the evening, and I have been working 8 hours straight everyday. My reading schedule had been interrupted severely. My stomach growled at something past noon. I heated up food that I cooked from the previous day, and continued reading as I ate. I also tried the American peaches that I bought yesterday. These would be pretty expensive back home, I assumed. They did not taste bad, and were especially fresh and crunchy. Around 2:30PM, I decided that I have had enough dose of 1Q84 for a day, so I stopped and started writing this entry. Everything that I do during a day would always be carefully measured out in my head so that I could have a pretty good amount of things I want to do. After all, the weekend is not that long.
The balancing of activities that I do also relates to the fact that I want to keep my mind under control. I want to keep my sense and emotion in checked. Thus, I don't sleep without an alarm clock on. I don't read as much as I want and let myself be obsessed with the other world. I don't browse the Internet endlessly and drain my energy on such bottomless thing. That is how I keep my sanity straight. It is important to always know what is real, what is going on, and what is the coordination of time and space when I am alone, because there is no other person to keep me on pace with reality. I am very easy to lose myself in my own world, and only a different being from myself can be my reality anchor.
All this being said, my shoulder is tired and I am bored of typing now. I will, hopefully, follow up with a post about my definition of reality anchor.
