Relationship Status Single

Sunny day,

Sunday,

Bookmark inside "A Walk to Remember"

Sketchbook with freshly new sketch.

SHINee's - To Your Heart - Jojo - Always Love -Kiss Kiss Kiss.

Somehow I feel happy as a single. 

Yakusoku no Hi with really refreshing and softening melody.

Indeed, I did not get a respond on my Facebook chat. Total failure. Nor did I see him on Saturday. But, I know, there's no hope for the situation. Disregard of the fact that we have opposite life styles, the simple fact that we only share 4 months together in the same place is discouraging enough. Wise people should be wise, shouldn't we, Scorpios? 

On this windy road of being single, I think I will have to walk a little bit longer. 

My wish is ...

to have just that person, who when you roll around in bed at midnight, and you can't sleep, you can just pick up the phone, and text him.

Writing idea

Almost forgot I have this all set up in my mind.

The lovely encounter in Starbucks. Then I forgot my phone on the table, and somehow the guy picked it up. I was so worried all night and then I came to the coffee shop early to ask for my phone. And he got my number. The story starts.

Tết

There are pictures that look ordinary like this, nevertheless really mean a lot to me. Indeed, those who are faraway are those who appreciate the commonness the most.

It's almost the Lunar New Year in my home country. According to Vietnamese time zone, today is the 30th of Tết, i.e. the thirtieth day of the December, or the New Year's Eve. On this day, my family would make spring rolls as an offering to farewell the old year. Things like showering, nail cutting, house cleaning, motorbike washing must be completed on the same day. Sure, it is a busy day.

For me, being so faraway from home, the only thing that I can do is to gather with my Vietnamese friends to have a big meal celebrating the end of the old year.

***

Now, coming back to the reasons why ordinary photos can thrill the heart of the faraway:

This old lady brought home green bananas to decorate the Five-fruit offering which would be presented during the Lunar New Year. Every year, I would accompany my mom to the market, looking at her choosing the best looking fruit for the Five-fruit offering.

In focus is the electricity post that is so familiar and typical of the Old streets area in Hanoi.

But out of focus is something even more typical of my hometown, and specially of days before Tết. Crowd of people flood the streets. Every one was purchasing new clothes, decorations, sweets and food for the holiday. I was once, part of that flow of hurry to prepare for Tết.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1841835221480&set=a.1025319169089.3861.1708571393&type=1&theater

Chợ Hoa ngày Tết

Flower fair, 

sell mostly peach blossom, but sometimes small cactus, camellias, and daffodils. 

There's also flower arrangement, and vases.

Crowded,

but if one doesn't visit it for once,

one wouldn't feel like New Year is coming.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1819359379598&set=a.1025319169089.3861.1708571393&type=1&theater

Just a common corner of a street that I can find anywhere in Hanoi. But this lady who sells paper clothes hints that Tết is coming. During New Year offering, we presented our ancestry with money, gold and clothes made of paper and burnt at the end of the New Year holiday.

There are much more details of life, bits of soul, fragrance of heart that when I walked around, I never knew were embedded in the land where I live. As I become faraway from it, these pieces become golden and so valuable that it engulfs my body with warmth, just looking at the photo.

There would be many years more until that day when I step into the scene of these pictures again. And toward this, I am powerless. Apart from waiting, I have no way to sooth myself.

Nationality

Recently, I have been thinking what difference it would make if I were born here? (in the US)
I kept hitting these cultural obstacles that I would not have to if I grew up here.
I kept feeling the drifting away of my connection to my own country.
I kept thinking about the divided future picture.

Then, if I was born here
-having an American boyfriend wouldn't be such a disadvantageous thing anymore
-I would not mute myself when they talk about this show and that series that I don't know
-then where my family and my heart is would be where I can find the best job

Studying abroad has a much more severe effect than I could ever imagine.

Late night flyer

One backpack, one duffle bag. One, two.

As I pull along my duffle bag, my eyes stray on the surrounding. Stores closing, staffs cleaning. Everything is put to sleep. Late night passenger would soar their wings over the dreams.

Leaving has always been hard. Leaving at night seems even harder. As the matter of fact, light makes people cheerful, darkness doesn't. Airport scenes have been way too familiar a scene for me. I find this surprising. This me, who is passive and inactive, would be used to flying. That's new. This me, who used to get sick just being on a car, would take a 5 hours flight as relaxing. That's unexpected.

Noi Bai Airport, Hanoi. Narita Airport, Japan. Chicago Ohare Airport, Cleveland Airport, Seattle Tacoma Airport, USA. Incheon Airport, Korea. One, two, three, four, five, six. What a count.

I finally am going home. Yes, Wooster is a home for me now. For a flight, however long it is, as long as the destination is home, I would not waver. I did not feel bad about staying here anymore. As time passes, one would adapt, would connect and attach. I did not wish to go home anymore. But, going back, now, is still a warming feeling.

Packing,
unpacking,
fitting,
stretching,
carrying,
pushing,
farewell-ing

I really just want to stay in one place.