One day

(as I'm six days away from home)

One day, I will withdraw all that money from the bank.
One day, my account won't exist.
One day, I will not have a legitimate reason to apply for visa.
One day, all I can do as I think of the US is to look up to the sky of Vietnam.
One day, all of it - the red autumns, the white snow, the exhilaration of Christmas, the vast sky, the sound of English, etc. - will just be memory.
One day, no trace of me will be left in the US - my dorm room, my apartment, my carrel, or my (future) office/ cubicle will belong to someone else.
One day, in the heart of those people who met me, knew me, or just walked pass me, I will be a blurry, fuzzy, dusty image.

One day ... when I will really leave the US, no turning back.

To think of that day, no matter how faraway it is, I have a gloomy feeling. Soon, my existence at this place will vanish. The existence of anyone is so transient. Even short time and short distance erase it, let alone half a globe away and the time as long as the rest of my life.

Then, I think, I have to make my existence more memorable. Even if it is just the memory of me, I want to make it strong. Get out there, inspire, joke with, care for, anger, help, hurt, annoy, bother, move and bring happiness to people. Make my impact strong. Make it unforgettable. Because memory is the most lasting thing.

I wonder why have I been living my life not wanting to make an impact on the world, because honestly, even if I don't want to make an impact on the world, my mere existence does.

PS: that one day might or might not happen.

One less thing to stress about

I read this facebook status from my friend, who basically said she felt fat, ugly, unwanted, lonely, stressed about homework and homesick.

I am also lonely, unwanted, has a lot of homework, and homesick.
But I at least I can be relieved.
I'm not fat.
I'm not ugly. I'm not a beautiful person, but I don't look too bad.
Even though I'm alone and lonely, I am still confident about myself.
I'm smart, capable, independent, have artistic skills, and understand myself.

Just thinking about that put me in a different light. That I should be thankful for a lot of things that I have.