Feminisation

Flower/ floral patterns,
soft fabric,
flowing dress,
peachy pink,
ribbons,
polka-dots,
chiffon or sheer material,
sequins, glitter,
etc.

I have started to love these things so much more than I usually do.

I used to love black a lot, love the geometric shape of a blazer, love the defined lines of a shirt, love the tough fabric of a khaki coat.

Now I start to love patterns, prints, and really bright and strong colors.

Partially, because I am free now. Free of what has been always a stress on me, free of my own restraining, free of sadness. It doesn't mean that I am no longer feeling stress, or bound by my thoughts, or sad. But the greatest part what has been restraining my soul (my mom) has been taken away from my life. I don't talk to her much, only once a week. Therefore, I don't get affected by the things that could drag me down.

I realize now that the rigid structure, dark color that is always my favorite was a result of me trying to protect, to strengthen myself again my own upbringing which tends to injure me severely.

Now that I am here, and especially, when I am finally connected soul to soul with a person who serves both as a parental guidance and as a friend/ companion for me, I could finally free my soul, and let it soar, be soft and emotional, be myself again.

Yet, I know that, this dark part is never gonna disappear from me. That is why my style is always going to have an edge to it.