Independence

So, the thing is like this: Nothing lasts forever.

I cannot try to behave if i don't have anything inside, I don't want to lie. The feeling I had for him, which ever kind it was, is not here anymore. Here, it's empty. But I don't want to hurt him, neither do I want to misread myself. But it proves by itself that I cannot pretend that things remain the same. (and even if it was the same, the much of feeling ... was not enough)

Chicago, the luminous city. (well, any city is luminous)

When I went there, and then met my new friends, and a guy, the old connections were totally wiped out of my memory briefly.

Chicago O'hare International Airport.

And the high ways. The H-mart (korean supermarket)

Then the house. Big, bright, large and modern. The kitchen had many type of spices, more than necessary for Vietnamese food. Well that was because the housewife cooked more than just Vietnamese food.

And then, the first afternoon, watching ice-skating.

The next day, shopping in Forever 21 (and Disney store),

At night, Christmas. What was for xmas? Duck, grilled potatoes... Family film-watching(80 days around the world). Then midnight, Sequence. I played the board game for the first time.

It was such a warm family night. It was sweet to receive Christmas gifts by the noel tree for the first time.

Then the next day, staying at home because every store closed.

And the day after that, probably, the Art Museum in Chicago.

.

.

.

.

So, everything, the view, the sound, the wind, they embraced me; and took me off the ground, glided me away. It was like brand new world. And I forgot comtemporarily even my parents.

And of course, for such a long period of time, he never reappeared in my head. He (my ex-"boyfriend") was lost somewhere in my mind. And actually, even in my normal flowing days in Wooster, I didn't miss him that much.

So he just disappeared like that. Then, when I realized it, (oh shoot! I forgot him) I was done making decision.

However, i'm quoting him now: "there's no need a curse

There're two enemy

are much more dangerous than that

Time and space.

My dry heart. I wrung it, but no more feeling poured out. Not even a single drop. And I knew he could feel it,

ah, such an end.

the end, not made by me.

After four months of trying. After a year and a half of a month. It ends. Something ends.

As nothing lasts forever. Especially something that you don't expect to last.

(Date created: Jan 4th, 2011 - 21:53)